Patience is a VIRTUE?

Do you ever feel like this? Oh my gosh...some things I can be very patient with things and other times....well not so much!

I have been trying to work on this lately because I have noticed I get very impatient with my husband sometimes. I have been trying to observe myself and understand why I get so impatient with him. I have come up with a solution {I think} to the problem. I think he should do things the way I do them, in the amount of time I do them, and without any complaints. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sometimes I crack myself up...literally.

Honestly, when I step back and look at the situation, I realize that he's helping me. Even if it takes him 3934839483 hours to do it. It gets done and all is well.

Sorry the picture is so blurry. I had to secretly take a picture of him doing this! :)

For instance, this weekend he swept and mopped the kitchen floor for me. You're all swooning over the fact that he did this right? Well, he used dish soap to mop with. I understand there's nothing wrong with using dish soap, but do you know how many times it took him rinsing the floor before it wasn't sticky and soapy anymore?! 3490343049384 times. And that's OK. But of course me being the bossy cow that I am, I started correcting him and telling him he should have used Lysol and it wouldn't be this hard. You should have swept up more of the dirt, you should have this, you should have that. I got sick of hearing myself! Do you ever do that? You think, wow I must really sound like a you know what?! Yikes.

Marriage is work sometimes. I'm not going to lie to ya. But, I think it's important to sit down before you get married and talk about your expectations of responsibilities once you get married. Do you want your husband to help you with the housework? Does he want you to help him with the yard work? Who is going to do the laundry, the dishes, the sweeping of the floors, clean the toilets, mow the grass, weed the flower beds, wash the cars, or dust? Trust me, if you think this will just get figured out when you get married, it won't. Girls, we will assume that our guys are going to help us because he's so in love with us and wants to help. I'm sure there is an exception to this, but majority of guys aren't going to help unless you ask them to. They aren't programmed to automatically know that you want their help. Don't get mad at them because they aren't helping you without you saying or asking them. Marriage is about communication and openness. Tell them when there is something that you want their help with. Don't pout in the kitchen and slam dishes around because by that point they are getting the hint that something is wrong. Then when they ask for your help you say, "no I don't need your help, I'll just do it all myself." Right? Wrong? Yes? No? Maybe so?

Ask them if there is something they want help with outside. Honey, do you want me to mow the grass today. Almost always, they are going to say no! That's a mans world out there, which is why he doesn't always ask if he can help in the house. His understanding is that he takes care of the outside and you take care of the inside. {let me tell you they are getting off easy....there is far more to do inside than out} Offer your help though and he will more than likely offer his when it comes down to it. Ask him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper or down the shoot. Ask him to take his dishes to the sink and rinse them off. Ask him to clean his whiskers out of the sink after he shaves. ASK HIM!!! But do it nicely.

Remember, marriage is about doing what's the very best for the other person at that very moment. Marriage isn't always about you, in fact it's almost always never about you. You have to constantly ask yourself if what you're doing is benefiting your spouse. I have lost sight of this so many times and it has caused some fights and drifting apart some. But the good part is, I'm a communicator. {good or bad} I will tell my husband what's wrong, let him know when he's hurt my feelings.

Don't think that I'm perfect, because there was a time in our short 2 year marriage that I lost complete sight of this. I was in a different country {not literally} and couldn't see that far. Lost my glasses. Things weren't looking so great. But luckily, my husband took my hand and stood up and we got through it. Our marriage is so wonderful now! There has been hurt and pain, but through all of that, we have learned who and what we need to be for our marriage to work. I'm so glad that we didn't quit, that we didn't give up because it was hard or that we made mistakes. Hurt can be such a hard thing because you want to get even, to make them feel what you're feeling and trust me...that only causes more hurt and pain. A lot of time it's unfixable because one of you gets really hurt and can't get over it!

I am more in love with my husband today than I was when I said, "I do." He is my world and my love. Without him I don't know who I would be. His smile and his touch light up my world! He is my provider, my lover, my best friend, and my help mate. Remember also, that love is a choice. There will be times when you don't have that lovey, tingly feeling. Choose to love that person for the good things. Make a list of reasons why you love your husband. {see here} You don't always have to tell him the bad things he's doing. Tell him good things, praise him, dote on him! Let him know that you want him. {if you know what I mean} Don't make him always ask for it! ;)

I think the key here is communication. If you aren't already married, talk about it before you get married. Have a counseling session with yourselves with the intention of not arguing about it. You will get a lot accomplished though talking about things! And BE PATIENT! Remember that no two people are alike. You don't have the same methods or thoughts as your spouse, so don't expect them to act the same way you would in any situation!