Thursday, June 14, 2012

This Is Why I Love You!

I have been having writers block these past two days. I haven't really been into writing or blogging due to not feeling well physically. Lets just say I'm ready for my body to get back to normal from losing the baby.

I decided that I would write about my handsome man and how thankful and grateful I am to have a wonderful, loving husband! I can honestly sit here and tell you that I don't deserve all the great love this guy has for me! Our first year of marriage was a bit rough and challenging. It's pretty easy to say that we both failed miserably that first year. But....thank God that we didn't give up and decided to stick it out! I can't tell you how thankful I am that we didn't give up, didn't quit, throw in the towel, how ever you want to put it! He means the world to me!

With that said, I would like to give a little advice to single people. DO NOT rush marriage! Please, please, please! If you're single DO NOT rush a relationship. Learn to be content with yourself. Learn to love yourself and strengthen your relationship with God first and foremost! Be secure in who you are with Christ because once you get married its very easy to put that on the back burner. I had a conversation with a friend recently who's birthday is coming up. She said that she is avoiding thinking about it because she thought she would be further along in life than she is. I told her that she will get where she needs to be and not to rush it. Life is hard enough already and to add the stress of marriage will only make it worse if you're not ready or if its rushed! Wait for the right person! They are out there!

Even when you find the right person...its hard! This man has loved me at my worst, literally. He has seen me when I hit rock bottom. A lot of people pushed me away but not him. I felt like I had things under control and didn't step back to take a moment to look at myself and see that I was on a quick downward spiral. Now, I wasn't into drugs or anything like that, but I had stepped away from the things that I knew I needed to be, God, the Bible, etc. I'm not going to go into details because I don't think it's necessary to get my point across.

Marriage is work. If I could do one thing in life, I would have a marriage counseling boot camp for engaged couples. I wish someone would have video taped a marriage candidly for a year and made us watch it. They don't prepare you for whats about to happen to your life. It's about to be turned upside down. You no longer have mommy and daddy to run back to {which is another post for another time}. For some reason we forget what it was like with our parents marriage growing up. I don't really remember focusing on them and the little fights and stuff. It's probably because most parents don't want their children to see them fight or have bad days. My parents have a great marriage so I had a great example but when its you...its different.

A little disclaimer...I am NOT a marriage expert or me! But I am married and I know what goes on. Once you get married its like something changes. You no longer have to do anything to try and keep that person, to win them over. You've got 'em! Most of time, not always, but most of the time, the dates stop, you gain weight, and you get content. I'm not talking about being content with where you are in life...I'm talking about not taking care of yourself, no make up, no shower, no shaving your legs kind of content. We all go through it...don't lie! :)

I have decided I am going to make a list of 10 things that I love about my husband. Instead of always trying to change the things I don't like about him, I'm going to focus on what he does do for me. The ways he does show me that he loves me. This list is meant to inspire you, not to wish your husband was the same way or say...hey my husband doesn't do that for me. Try making a list of your would be surprised when you make an effort that there are plenty of things that you love about your husband! It doesn't have to profound!

1. He goes to work every day.
This means he wants to support me and care for me. He's taking responsibility as a husband to provide for us and put food on the table. Of course, I work too, but that's because I want to spend money on things that we don't need sometimes. Not to blow money but to have nice things! This is something that we mutually talked about and decided that it would be best for me to work right now. This is a decision that you and your spouse should discuss. Each marriage and situation is different.

2. He takes care of the yard work.
This shows me he takes a sense of pride in the way our house looks. He wants us to have a nice house and a nice place to come home to.

3. He tells me I'm beautiful.
Every morning when we wake up he tells me I look pretty. When I leave for work in the morning, he says you look beautiful today. He knows I'm self-conscious about my weight, so he compliments me, especially when he knows I'm not feeling it that day!

4. He thanks me when I clean the house.
This may seem like a "wifely" duty, but it means a lot to me when he tells me that he's thankful that I took the time to clean.

5. He can be silly with my family.
My family loves the game Quelf. If you have never played this game....go buy it and play. It's ridiculously hilarious. You have to play with a lot of people though for it to be funny. He doesn't have a problem with making a fool of himself with my family. He doesn't get embarrassed easily. This is the one thing that I knew my husband had to have, to be able to be himself around my family. We have a very close knit family and he needed to be able to be part of that.

6. He offers to help.
Most of the time I decline this offer because it's easier to do it myself. But sometimes I totally take him up on it! Especially with the dishes. He knows how much I hate the dishes. He doesn't offer every time, but when he does it means the world to me. Sometimes he doesn't even ask and just grabs the towel to dry. This also makes me realize that he notices my hard work. With both of us working, we try to divide the housework up. A lot of the time I do it just because I seem to have more time at home, but he does help me. This wasn't always the case though. At the beginning of our marriage, he didn't help me at all. I felt like I was doing it all, so one day I decided instead of getting mad and angry with him I would tell him how I feel. It's amazing what happens when you communicate things with your partner. Not in a mean, demeaning way, but in a loving, this would help me kind of way.

7. He can say he's sorry. 
My husband has no problem saying he's sorry. He is usually the first one to say it. It melts me when he does. It totally disarms me, I'm defenseless against that word! He's not afraid to admit he's wrong. This isn't the case with everyone in his life though, so I know its hard for him. That makes it all the more meaningful.  

8. He rides a dirt bike and drives a truck.
This is a little personal thing for me. :) There's just something about my man driving his truck with a dirt bike in the back.

9. He's going to be my baby daddy some day.
No need for explaining that one.

10. He believes in me.
He believes in my dreams. He never tells me that I can't do something. Sometimes he will say that it's going to take a lot of work and asks me if I'm up for it, but never tells me no or that I can't do it. He's encouraging and never puts me down when I fail at something.

If you do make a list, show it to him. So often we flippantly say, "I love you," but the other person doesn't know why. Your spouse shouldn't have to guess why you love them. Don't make them have to ask you, tell them! You will be amazed at the response you will get. Even if your husband doesn't help you with the housework all the time, acknowledge when he does. It will make all the difference. Trust me.

P.S. I always tease my husband with this verse.....He who finds a wife finds what is good. (Proverbs 18:22). Sounds right to me....huh?

“Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )

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