So, I've been thinking... {and that's dangerous}

So, I've been thinking about life lately. I feel a challenge inside to do something more with my life. I don't want to work for anyone...I mean who does really...but what I'm saying is that I want to be a business owner. I want to make a living off of something that I {or we for my husband and I} create. Something that we build from the bottom up. There's something stirring inside of my heart. I'm ready for change.

Change isn't always a bad thing. I'm a little scared of change some times but it's definitely a good thing. I don't want to be complacent with where I am in life. Not that I'm not happy with my life, but wanting something more. To be something better, I want a good life for our children.

That's another thing. I honestly don't want to work while our kids are growing up. Not that I'm lazy...I would gladly work from home. I want to be there when they have their first step, when they get their first tooth, when they say their first words. I don't want someone else raising our children, even if it's family. I know they would know that Mike and I are their parents, but its not the same. I want to teach them to read, count and write their name.

There has to be something that I can do at home or from home to make enough money that I don't have to leave the house to work. I am willing to do that...willing to still work...I would just rather do it at home.

Am I being selfish? I don't think so, but sometimes it sounds like it and when I tell other people about it they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm not being lazy because I'm still willing to work and make an income. Now a days day care is so high that I don't see the worth in me working for the same amount that we would be spending in daycare?! Right?! Please tell me I'm not crazy!

Anyways, back to the stirring inside of me. I want to do something that will make a difference in this world, maybe not completely the world but in my immediate reach. So, will you believe with me that when the time is right that things will fall in to place? It's all about God's timing of course and I want to follow along with that, I don't want to rush or try it in my own time. I'm not completely ready to reveal what's on my heart, but just stand with me that God will direct me in all the right ways. Soon enough I will be able to tell you what He has in store for this little world of mine.