Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Time to look UP!

As my due date quickly approaches, I have been dreaming about going in to labor. I'm sure it's because it's on my brain a lot. Ashley from Adventures of Newlyweds wrote a post the other day {here} that inspired me! It's time to look UP instead of focusing on the devastation of it all.
She is such a strong person and has been through a lot, more than I have been through and yet here I am sulking. Sulking in the fact that other people close to me are getting pregnant, starting to show, finding out what they're having, and picking out nursery colors. Shouldn't I be happy for them? Yes, I should!
I went through what Ashley was talking about, feeling guilty that I did something wrong and was being punished for it. Feeling like I'm not good enough, feeling like I'm NEVER going to have a child of my own. Yes, we can get pregnant but can we stay pregnant.
The devil is trying to convince me that it's my fault. If only I wouldn't have done this, or I would have done that then I would be able to have my child. But here's the thing, and I mean this in a non-condescending way, but there are people out there who have done a lot worse that are able to have babies. I need to be more positive about myself and have a better look on my own life.
You know there's plenty of room to think that our marriage isn't good enough, I've sinned too much, I've hurt too many people, the list could go on and on.
But the truth of the matter is. GOD FORGIVES AND FORGETS. He's not a punishing God. Right!? He has a loving spirit about Him and he wants to see us happy. He doesn't want to hurt us.

Lamentations 3:22-24 (KJV)

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassion's fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
This verse gets me through a lot! It doesn't just pertain to me and having a miscarriage. It pertains to every day life. When things in the past try to creep up and make me feel guilty or not worthy, I have to remember this verse. His mercies are new every morning! We will never be more righteous than we are right now. He is my portion, I WILL HOPE IN HIM!
Time to get positive about getting pregnant again. The hubsand and I have decided to wait until I lose a little weight to try again, but we will try again.
So, I want to give others hope! This will be the last negative post I write on here about my miscarriage. Because we have HOPE! Next time you hear about it, I will be pregnant! :)

1 comment:

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