here goes nothin'

todays the day…the beginning of my weight loss journey…again. if you have been around me for any amount of time you know that my weight is constantly up and down up and down…this is mostly due to crash dieting or yo yo dieting…basically eating absolutely nothing then gorging because im soooo starving.

anyways…i thought this time i would do things the right way…hmmm…theres a thought. i am going to exercise and watch what i eat. i had to realize that i am a girl {duh} and i cant eat everything that my wonderful {non weight gaining} husband can. go figure.

so…before I left for school i had lost 50 pounds doing weight watchers and literally walking my butt off. ;) this time…i am going to do that same thing just add some extra exercise in there. now you say…but you gained all the weight back. yes I did…but that is because i ate terrible and let myself think it was ok to eat whatever i wanted and wasnt going to gain any weight and then all of a sudden i was gaining and gaining and gaining. not ok.

first of all i want to be HOTT for my handsome husband and secondly i want to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about myself. now this is what i tell my mom all the time because she always says, “youre beautiful no matter what size you are,” yes of course…i have self confidence…dont get me wrong. im not doing this because i feel down or depressed about my weight {well sometimes i do}, i am doing this for me and to be HEALTHY. i am going to make a lifestyle change for me and my family {now and future}. i feel beautiful on the inside and am confident in who i am…i just need the outside body to go along with it.

so…im going to put myself out there and sort of “track” my weight loss in numbers. i am not totally gutsy enough to put pictures up quite yet but maybe by the time i get done i will so you can see the transformation that i am going to have. i am going to do this. i have set my mind on it…it might take me a year to do it but i will do it…i might not be in a bathing suit this summer…and that’s ok…ill get there.

keep me in your prayers {seriously} because its going to be a journey that im sure i will hate at first but ultimately love in the end. this time its forever. i want to be able to enjoy {when it happens} my pregnancy without worrying about diabetes or any weight related issues. i also dont want to be a frumpy mom and a mom that doesnt seem to take care of herself. not me and if you know my mom thats how she is too.

its all good…so here we go…follow along and like i said…i will try to journal {blog} about it as much as possible to keep you in the loop…

day 1 {march 21st, 2012}…186.4lbs {if you know me this is a serious thing that im posting this}